Living Psalm 23

I have started this post a few times...only to delete it and start over ;)

My little blogging hiatus was not planned. I've been gently nudged from friends to write about what I was going through, but I really didn't want to use this blog as a place to whine or complain. lol. So I'm going to share the details as emotionless-ly as possible.

Back in August, my children and I went to the beach for a few days with my mother. We had a great time, but while I was there, I found a lump in my belly. My routine, yearly physical was already scheduled for the following week, so I tried not to stress and just let it go.

A week later, my Dr. confirmed that I had a large tumor in my pelvic area. They suspected that it was attached to my uterus, and set me up for an ultrasound the following day. The ultrasound showed that the mass was most likely attached to one of my ovaries, and it was quite large. The next referral was to the Ob/Gyn.

The Dr. was very professional, kind and knowledgeable. He set me up for some additional blood work and an MRI. The blood work would give a better idea if this...thing....was cancerous.

I need to stop for a moment and explain that I have a phobia of cancer. (Which I think many people probably share.) Cancer is a nasty disease that has taken several people that I loved dearly. As soon as I heard the terms "tumor" and "mass", I was terrified. I'm not afraid of dying, I know that I am saved. I know I'll be "promoted to glory" as one of our sweet pastors say, when that day comes.

The fear was for my family. I was hurting at the thought of my husband having to raise our sweet children alone. I was trying to think about how I would prepare my family, how to tell my husband it would be okay to love again if I die.

I went to the Lord (several times :) with my fears, and He brought me peace. "The peace that passes understanding" became a tangible, real thing to me. Even if this mass was cancerous, God loves me and He would carry my family and I through this.

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.." I felt like I was in the valley, with the shadow of death lurking over me. But God was with me and took those fears away.

The MRI showed that the mass was 14.5 centimeters in diameter and was hemorrhaging inside. The blood work came back with elevated levels, but not high enough that they felt the need to immediately refer me to an Oncologist.

Surgery was scheduled for Oct. 3rd. The Dr. told me he would begin the surgery laparoscopically. He was going to insert a scope, see what exactly what he was getting into, and he would take a small sample of the mass to send to pathology. If the fast test came back that the mass was benign, he would try to remove it laparoscopically. I was also warned that he would probably have to make a larger incision to remove the mass, and that I may end up having to have a hysterectomy and stay in the hospital three or more days.

My church family is the best. I have had these awesome people praying for me from the very beginning. Our prayer was that the mass would be a weird cyst, that it would be benign, and that the Dr. would be able to remove it laparoscopically without having to take all of my female pieces parts.

The Lord answered our prayers almost to the T! The surgery was completed laparoscopically. The mass was benign, and the Dr. determined it was a dermoid cyst that had ruined one of my ovaries and had started to adhere to other organs. He removed the cyst, and the one ovary. I was able to leave the hospital the same day!


The recovery has been slower than I had hoped, but I'm taking each day as it comes. A week later and I'm still pretty sore, but am slowly starting to move a little easier. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, prayers, well wishes..and really yummy food :) I have my wonderful family around me, my friends and church family supporting me...to say that I am blessed is an understatement!

God is soo good, He is faithful, and He lovingly carried me through this valley and I right now, I am resting beside the still waters :)